“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” -Anne Lamott

((If you are suffering and need help, but don't know where to start, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255))

Thursday, November 17, 2011

11/13/11

Dear Danny,
I lost it today. I cried. Hard. It felt as though it was the first day.
I miss you, Danny. I miss your hugs, your smiles, your laughter. I miss your smell, your voice, your friendship. I miss seeing you in the middle of the afternoon and hearing you come home at night. I miss watching you work with the kids who loved you so much. I miss you slapping my face, flicking me, and calling a loser. I miss you laughing at me when I say something stupid. I miss watching you hold Milly and seeing your love for her in your eyes. I miss hearing you sing in your room. I miss you yelling at me, chasing me around the house.
I miss the loud music waking me up at night. I miss hearing you cry yourself to sleep. I miss spending time with you. I miss having you with me in Phlebotomy. I miss driving around with you, talking to you, singing with you, and sometimes singing TO you.
I miss trying to hug you, trying to kiss you, telling you I love you. I miss seeing you. I miss texting you. I miss calling you. I miss writing you little notes of encouragement and love. I miss teasing you, joking around with you, making fun of mom with you.
I miss karaoke nights with you. I miss dancing with you. I miss having deep conversations with you. I miss trying to make you proud of me. I miss your "Gay Impersonations". I miss your sarcasm. I miss playing games with you. I miss trying to get information out of your for mom.
All I am trying to tell you is that I miss my Big Brother. I love you so much. I am not looking forward to my life without you physically in it, but you will always be in my mind and heart. And I know you will let yourself be known when I need to feel your love.
Love Always,
Talysa

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