Dear Danny,
It's not getting any easier without you and on Tuesday, your viewing, we have to start all over. I only broke down 3 times today though. I guess that is better than the past 3 days.
I hope you don't mind I took some of your clothes. I'm expecting you to see me wearing them and yell at me. Oh, what I would give to hear you yell at me again. I know you were more depressed than you made yourself look. I can't even tell you how many times I woke up to you crying. I always felt so helpless too. I wish I knew what to say in times like those. I wanted so badly to take your pain away. I wished so many times that it was me that got Colitis instead of you. I would have done anything for you, Danny. And I still will do anything for you! I am going to make sure I live my life right so I will definitely be worthy to see you again.
Danny, we have been so blessed with love, food, donations, and small acts of kindness. The ward and neighbors are so amazing! If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be able to get up on our feet and move forward. I can't tell you how many flower arrangements we have gotten, the fragrance is over powering and consuming the whole house! I love it though. Flowers are happy. They make me happy while reminding me that even though my heart is cloudy and my world might be gloomy, the sun is still shining outside!
I was thinking about how unfortunate it is that the only way we see who loves us is when tragedies like this occur, but then I realized that this is the time we need to hear it the most, and people know that. We don't need to be reminded on a daily basis if our lives are going great. We already know the neighbors love for us. But when things like this happen, being told over and over again sure makes the burden feel lighter. We KNOW we are being prayed for. We KNOW we are loved, and we KNOW we are not alone in this. That is why our house hasn't been empty for a long time! I still can't believe how much love is in this ward. It's simply amazing! We can never doubt the love of our Lord while going through this. He is the one sending the neighbors over to visit with us, laugh with us, and cry with us.
Danny, I know you didn't feel the same way about the gospel as I do, but I pray that you change your mind. I hope you see how amazing it is. I hope you realize how important it is. I hope you see that it isn't called "The Plan Of Happiness" for no reason. We were all sent on this earth for one purpose. To do what Heavenly Father sent us here to do. I don't think your time on earth was quite over yet, but I know that you will have time on the other side to do what you need to do. I pray that you try really hard to find true happiness, and I believe you can, now that you aren't constrained by your illness.
I love you and miss you everyday.
Love Always,
Talysa
It's not getting any easier without you and on Tuesday, your viewing, we have to start all over. I only broke down 3 times today though. I guess that is better than the past 3 days.
I hope you don't mind I took some of your clothes. I'm expecting you to see me wearing them and yell at me. Oh, what I would give to hear you yell at me again. I know you were more depressed than you made yourself look. I can't even tell you how many times I woke up to you crying. I always felt so helpless too. I wish I knew what to say in times like those. I wanted so badly to take your pain away. I wished so many times that it was me that got Colitis instead of you. I would have done anything for you, Danny. And I still will do anything for you! I am going to make sure I live my life right so I will definitely be worthy to see you again.
Danny, we have been so blessed with love, food, donations, and small acts of kindness. The ward and neighbors are so amazing! If it weren't for them, we wouldn't be able to get up on our feet and move forward. I can't tell you how many flower arrangements we have gotten, the fragrance is over powering and consuming the whole house! I love it though. Flowers are happy. They make me happy while reminding me that even though my heart is cloudy and my world might be gloomy, the sun is still shining outside!
I was thinking about how unfortunate it is that the only way we see who loves us is when tragedies like this occur, but then I realized that this is the time we need to hear it the most, and people know that. We don't need to be reminded on a daily basis if our lives are going great. We already know the neighbors love for us. But when things like this happen, being told over and over again sure makes the burden feel lighter. We KNOW we are being prayed for. We KNOW we are loved, and we KNOW we are not alone in this. That is why our house hasn't been empty for a long time! I still can't believe how much love is in this ward. It's simply amazing! We can never doubt the love of our Lord while going through this. He is the one sending the neighbors over to visit with us, laugh with us, and cry with us.
Danny, I know you didn't feel the same way about the gospel as I do, but I pray that you change your mind. I hope you see how amazing it is. I hope you realize how important it is. I hope you see that it isn't called "The Plan Of Happiness" for no reason. We were all sent on this earth for one purpose. To do what Heavenly Father sent us here to do. I don't think your time on earth was quite over yet, but I know that you will have time on the other side to do what you need to do. I pray that you try really hard to find true happiness, and I believe you can, now that you aren't constrained by your illness.
I love you and miss you everyday.
Love Always,
Talysa
k first off Im writing this with tears in my eyes. Talysa, I didnt know he took his own life when I asked how he passed. I am so sorry for both you, your family, and Danny! From reading, I now know he was also suffering with an illness..
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this letter is "They make me happy while reminding me that even though my heart is cloudy and my world might be gloomy, the sun is still shining outside!"
I cant even imagine what you are going through but yet you refuse to make this the end of you. You refuse to have hate in your heart. That takes strength!
I remember reading on your blog a long time ago about your body issues you were having at the time and I commented on it. I told you something like people "you have to see the beauty in yourself before others will" and I think this is EXACTLY what you are doing now! You are seeing the "sunshine" when everything seems so cloudy. Your right, sometimes it takes tragedies for people to show they care. I am sorry I lost touch. I am looking forward to seeing you and Kellen at your reception!
I am sorry for your grief, and no I dont understand but I am here if you ever need a girlfriend! The Lord loves you. He loves your family. And I know he loves Danny. He may have taken his own life, but our Father in Heaven and Lord Jesus Christ could feel his pain and will do nothing but wrap their gracious arms around him and comfort him now!
May you find peace today sweetie.